Oshirokan Karate: 2009

Many of us go through life feeling as if we are a victim or "the world is out to get me". Well, the world doesn't care one way or the other, and really doesn't owe us anything.

People are out to get what they (think they) want or need. And some will do whatever they can to get it. If they feel you are in their way, they will either work with (or use) you to get what they want, or, simply step over you to get it. The reality is, we all use each other at one point or another in our lives. What we need to be aware of us is if that "usage" is malicious, parasitic, or destructive? If it's a good symbiotic relationship, and there is a give and take, then it is usually a good relationship (usually). If it's the former, then you should get out of it. Even if it's family.

My brother was convicted and served time for a henious crime. I didn't realize it until after I was hanging out with him again. Not being sure that he had been fully rehabilitated, I told him I couldn't have him around me. They may sound mean, but if you knew the crime, you wouldn't blame me. And no, I am not going to divulge personal information. So, the point here is, he was a negative influence and I didn't want it around so I cut him off.

I digress.

Things happen to people every day. We have a choice as to how we wish to handle the victimization. Live like a victim, or survive and learn from it? I personally had a very difficult childhood. My preteen to early teen years were filled with instances of sexual and physical abuse. Just thinking about it now hurts but I don't let it affect me (too much). People would think, why would you share this personal information? Because although I was shamed, I am not ashamed by it. Although it is a very personal hurt, it's not a hurt I carry on my back every day of my life. I use it to teach other kids they don't have to be victims. They can survive, just like I did. Kids sometimes don't know how not to be victims. We as adults/teachers/mentors need to teach them not to be. To not accept the lies and hurt someone brings to them because of another's selfish needs and then TELL someone that can help them to make the hurt stop.

But what about sitations that we can't control? Or what if we are struggling with things that have happened to us in the past that we are still struggling with. They could be as recent as yesterday or years ago. How do we deal with them? Well, get over it. I know, kind of in your face isn't it? Can we change what happened to us? No. Can we learn from it? Yes. Can we go on to be productive and live better lives? Yes. What doesn't kill us (usually) makes us stronger. Get help, talk to people that really love you, then start to heal. Scars will always be there. But we don't have to allow those scars to hurt us into not being able to function.

"But it hurt sensei!" Well...

From Steve DeMasco's "The Shaolin Way": [...] Pain is pain, pressure is pressure, and it hits us in many different forms. When it does, you have only two choices about how to handle it. One, you can fold, or two, you can become what I call the "mental warrior", which takes intense focus and discipline. Being a mental warrior means pulling out of depression and anger by getting focused as you remember who you are and taking more practical steps toward the next leg of your life [...]"

Sidenote: Not everyone can recover from a "hard stance approach" (i.e.-get over it). Some of us require kid gloves to get us over the hump of recovery and healing. But there comes a point where you have to tell someone: Dude(tte), stop already! Get over it!" The point is, we are victimized but we are NOT victims.

Again from Mr. DaMasco: "Here's the deal: there are no victims in the world. When problems arise-let's say at work-you have two choices. You can stay where you are, get educated, and decided to do our job to the best of your bility and learn everyting you need to know; or you can quit, and find a new job or live in poverty."

Choices. We choose to stay in a funk about our current situation or do something about it. Steve continues: "When we are not happy with our own performance, or when we feel like we're owed something we're not getting, we can often fall into a pattern of feeling like victims insted of survivors."

Stop living in the past. Focus on the now. Take care of today's 'chores' to secure the future. Even for me this is hard. The last couple of years have been especially difficult because of choices I have made and things I have allowed others to affect me with. I have hard choices ahead of me. I must think about the best course of action and then do it. I used to tell people all the time: "no regrets. The choices we make today are based on the information we have on hand. Know all you can, then decide and move forward". Talking with people you trust with an idea or choice that's in front of you helps you decide, but ultimately, you have to choose. And not regret the choice later. Even if it hurts other people. If we are not happy, how can we make others happy?

Choose to not be a victim. Remember, the world owes us nothing. Oh, and get over it.

So, yeah sensei, get over it already.

Osu.

I want to welcome the new (and old) Urban Community Students that have signed up for the Urban Karate classes.

As you can see there have been some changes to the program. Please read through the letter I provided carefully and be familiar with those changes.

Students should remember that their advancement through the curriculum is individual. You are not in a race with other students. You will advance according to your own personal ability, your effort and will to achieve. I will help you get to the higher levels. It is up to you to do your best to practice and study the folder you have been provided.

Parents & Students are always welcome to call me with any questions, comments or concerns they may have.

Osu.

Oshirokan Karate

Thursday, September 24, 2009

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Friday, February 20, 2009

Women's Self-Defense

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